Our interview with…

"Katie Koehn has been married 61 years and 27 days, and she's still full of love and laughter.

In the courtyard of Normanna rest home, decorated in nuptial puffs of pink tissue paper, Katie tells her story to a crowd of senior residents, family and friends as one of five couples renewing their marriage vows..." Continue reading

A matter of perspective

Why do some marriages succeed and others fail.  It’s all a matter of perspective.  Do you view marriage as a contract or a covenant?  A contract is built upon fear.  It is there to protect you should your partner fail to live up to your expectations.  There are terms and conditions to preserve your self interests.  It is often based on the 50/50 model of partnership.  For example, “if you do your 50%, then I will do my 50%.”  In contrast, the covenant model is based upon love, trust, and being unconditional.  It puts the other’s best interests at heart.  And there is no expiry date.  It says, “I give 100% and trust that you will reciprocate because you love me and have my best interests at heart.”

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself to see which model you follow in your relationship:

  1. If I cook dinner, do I expect my partner to do the dishes?
  2. Do the household expenses and chores need to be split 50/50?
  3. If I do something nice for my partner, do I expect something in return?
  4. Do I wait for my partner to apologize before I do?
  5. Do you often think, “If my partner didn’t do or say….., then I wouldn’t have responded the way that I did” ?

If you answer yes to most of these questions, maybe it’s time to reconsider how you view marriage.

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